So since working with JR.s youth group, i have really started loving youth girls. like the middle school and jr. high ones. I think there are some beautiful girls out there, but sadly, they dont recognize how much they are loved. some of the girls at parkade...like wow, my heart goes out to them. i pray for them everyday, bc i am afraid its all i can do. i know next semester i want to take time to go out with them and just talk. bc i think these girls need so much more than just a lesson on wednesday nights. i think they need to see an example from someone who has experienced it all. which i havent, by far, experienced anything these girls have. like. wow. i have never had family problems. or boy drama, or girl drama for that matter. but it takes more than just reading a verse to these girls. bc i have done that. they need more. they need love. they need to see that my heart is hurting when they hurt. they all have beautiful spirits, but i am afraid they let the little things get in the way of what matters. Psalm 45:11 says "the king is enthralled with your beauty; honor him, for he is your lord." this verse sums up everything a young woman needs to know. 1] the king, our god, the holy abba father, is enthralled with your beauty. ENTHRALLED. wow. webster defines entrall as to capture the fascinated attention of. holy cow. now this is the king of the universe. like, he created EVERYTHING. from the trees, to the oceans, the prettiest flowers, the heavens and the earth. but he is entralled by our beauty? is this a joke? there is no way...but his holy word is god breathed, and if he said it, then it must be true. so what does that mean to you. A LOT. dont look to guys or the media for your self worth. it is found in the creator of the universe. and he thinks you are gorgeous. back to what this verse means. 2] honor him for he is your lord. he died for you. why wouldn't you want to live for and honor him. he is christ the risen lord. is that not enough reason?? honor him. he died. on a wooden cross. probably got a few splinters. he cried out to his father, why have you forsaken me. now it is your turn, cry out, give you life to him, and he will take your pain and everything from you. then honor him. if you can't stop the drinking, cussing, sexual sin, is that really honoring him? i mean, if you think your fun is more important than what christ did on a cross for you, then go right ahead. if seeing the verses in plain sight doesn't help, then i would hope that the holy spirit's conviction would come upon you.

i love the girls. they have impacted me more then they probably know. they have taught me so much. i have this passion for girls their age. i wish that when i was their age, that a high school or college student would have given me the time of day. that is why i think it is so important for us older girls to mentor them. because you would affect them more than you probably know. it would it would have me when i was at their age. i think god has given me a burden for this age group for some reason. and this next week when i go to branson, you better bet your bottom dollar i will be getting to know those youth girls. they are the future of the youth group. you dont want them to be gossipy, cat-ish girls. you want them to repeat the cylce of love and work with the new younger girls. i think god wants me to just show them love. and be love. what does that mean for me? show them who i am. be honest. tell them i struggle with gossip. show them them expamples. yes i doubt myself for never having a boyfriend...what have i done that is so bad, or not attractive?? but do i let that change my self worth? no. be real with the girls. share your problems. then give advice. tell them your mistakes. youre not perfect. they know that. show it to them. god puts me through things for a reason, and here it is. to relate to others, and show them how i have come through and dealt with them for god's glory, and to give it back to him.

god bless.

WOW! break is here and i am bored. and i am going on a facebook fast for now, so i figured i'd start one of these up again. it should be good for me. i like writing. and jorunaling. its good for you too. so maybe with all of the time i am not wasting on facebook, i can express some thoughts out on here...